Thursday, July 20, 2006

Imminent Downfall in the Musical Economy

Hypothesis: The (next) Stock Market Crash is a resultant of Power, Corruption and Lies.

Observations:
  • Geography (2006), the only full-length album by The Stock Market Crash, appears to have almost the same cover as the second New Order album, Power, Corruption and Lies (1983). The noteable difference is that in the 23 year span between them, the aperture setting on the photo lens increased.
  • Shortly after Ian Curtis fell victim to his self-perpetuated black abyss, the remaining members of Joy Division started New Order. Also, shortly after John Bonham drowned in his surrounding moat of everclear, Led Zeppelin disbanded. Both of these resolutions came in relatively close proximity to the turn of the eighties decade, which in comparison to the decades surrounding it; was musically vain.
  • New Order released an array of albums, and in '02 they released a compilation album entitled International, proving from the artwork that the most worthy thing they had to say for themselves after 20 years was that their floral cover art got digital.
  • The Stock Market Crash appears to be usurping from their list of inspirations, a residue of Morrissey and Bono that is collecting in a sink drain.
  • It has been awhile since The Killers made it.
Conclusion:

New Order made a fatal decision to their previously reputable musical stature by existing at all. The Stock Market Crash, who alludes to New Order in their cover art and mentions them in their inspirations, also smoke cigarettes in their press photos outfitted with oversized sunglasses and jean jackets, walking like they are going somewhere. To counteract the media-blitz when they break the charts in a few months:

"With the banality of She Wants Revenge, they blend together a stadium-sized vacuum motored by the face of their underground facade. Candidly disposing of the qualitative factors of Interpol and The Smiths to which they will undoubtedly be compared, they cauterwaul bombastically like the user-friendly rock of Coldplay and Athlete."

Stock Market Crash MySpace

Damn the things you accidentally step on.

-Tara

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

How did you get the album? You need to have an album to review it. Obviously without track listings you are going off their website (of which is out-of-date) or their myspace. DO you know which photos are personal "fun" shots and which are press? All I saw was the myspace photo that you saw! You said they sound like Bono but are paying tribute to New Order? They certantly don't sound like either!!
You certantly go off on tangents and as far as I'm concerned, missed the mark greatly. Thank you for writing this I liked most of these bands and are happy of your dislikes..... it made me more curious!!

Anonymous said...

Do what....? You missed Bowie.... I actually like them. Sorry.